It's Our Mission

Our sweet new little D has been here for a week and a half now. He just fell into place here with no real adjusting. He came in taking great naps, sleeping through the night, and he eats well. He does have some anger issues, but who wouldn't considering all he has been through in his short 16 months of life. He gets frustrated easily and tends to bang his head on the floor or anything close when things don't go his way. We are glad he's here. Just like Le's arrival, D's arrival has been a God send and very healing to my broken heart.

God is doing some amazing things through our pain and teaching us to focus on His will and His timing. I have been seeking Him through prayer and reading His word and He is actually speaking to me through many verses. He has been calling me to rest in Him, to have faith, without doubt, and to lay down my arms and let Him fight for us.

After talking to many people about Le's story, we have come to believe that this battle we are fighting is not a flesh and blood battle, but a spiritual battle, that we are not equip to fight. We feel called to let God fight this battle. We are trusting that He will fight for us, for our family, and for Le. We feel that He spoke to us about Le's coming, about us adopting Le, and about us pulling out of the jury trial. We have stepped out in complete faith, asking Him to fight, and asking that He would have mercy on any misunderstandings. Having grace on us as we try to be obedient.

I must confess that as I began to see that He was calling us to pull out, I felt very scared and out of control. I asked over and over that He would make it very clear and give us His peace as we let go. He was faithful to deliver! As I called our lawyer to tell her that we were going to pull out of the intervention, I was washed over with peace and I can say that peace has remained.

God is so good and I am blessed to be serving Him. Fostering and adopting is our ministry...it's our mission field. My life feels so different now and through this trial He has shown me my true mission in life is to love on these children unconditionally, to help in building their trust in others as well as trusting Jesus as their Lord in the future. The needs and hurts of these children are too big to ignore. We must step out of our selfish lives and love on the needy. These children have done nothing wrong and deserve the same love, security, and peace our own children have been given. What is God calling you to sacrifice so you can find your mission?

We're Expecting!!!

It's all the buzz around our house. We got the call Monday afternoon from our agency asking if we would be interested in taking in a 17 month old baby boy. He will only be here till June or so, but we are excited to love on this little guy and show him God's love. We continue to pray for our little Le's protection and for him to return home to us. In the mean time God is calling us to love on another sweet baby that needs a safe place to stay. Thank you God, that you are growing us and teaching us, both individually and as a family.

Show me Your Glory...

Our church family is a great blessing to us! We first stepped into it's doors, the Sunday before Easter, almost two years ago. Upon entering, God placed one of my dearest friends to welcome us. Although, we weren't friends before entering, He quickly knit our hearts together as we talked about our families, homeschooling, and our need for a church family. Almost two years later, this family, as well as several other families, have walked with us through the death of my mother, troubles with our teen, welcoming a new baby into our family, troubles with extended family, and now the loss of the baby. They know our hearts and our family and they choose to love us still. They are a huge source of encouragement and our go to for prayer. It amazes us to see how broken their hearts have been for us. Many have shed tears with us and have stressed their heartbreak. Just last Sunday, we were touched and moved by the emotions of one of our youth pastors. For the youth lesson, he had planned specifically to teach on The Death of Lazarus. He asked our oldest to read John 11:1-44. As she read the story, she knew immediately how the story pertained to our lives right now. This past week, I have read and reread the story over and over. I too see the parallels to our situation.

Last Saturday, my husband and I visited our spiritual birthplace, The Village Church. As we listened to one of the pastors speak on Moses and his relationship with God, he had us look at the verses where Moses asked to see God's glory, as well as the verses where he begs God to continue on with him and the Israelites as they headed to the promise land. Moses says "if you don't go with us, then I don't want to go!" I have felt that way all week long. I believe that Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead and I believe that He can and will bring our little Le home again. I believe that God passed by Moses and allowed him to see His glory. We are waiting on His timing, trusting that He is using all things for His glory and His good. Lord, if you're not in this, then I don't want to do it! I don't want to go on, if You're not going with us! Show me Your Glory!!!

Goodbye...for now

Last time I posted, we were awaiting the Judges' decision on Le staying with us, or returning to his birth parents. It pains me to write that he decided to send him to them. Le has been out of our house now for five days and boy does my heart ache. I long to hold him, to feed him, to change him, to comfort him, and to look into his deep brown eyes, and him know how much he is loved! God, continue to hold him and guard his heart, mind, soul, and body!

Waiting is so hard...

So, I haven't talked much on here about the struggles we have been battling, with our littlest one and CPS wanting to return him to his birth parents, but today we are waiting to hear what the judge has decided. It's especially hard because the judge is know for siding with CPS. Although we felt like he was really listening and taking things that were said to heart, his reputation proceeds him . Today I am nervous! I really want to know what he has decided, but then again, there is a part of me that wants to just continue on, pretending that things will be the same. Believing that Le will be ours forever.

I have said this a million times, but I don't know how people get through storms like these without the Lord. I am blessed to a daughter of the King! It is through His strength, His joy, His peace, and His promises that I can fight on. Standing strong in His word, knowing that His purposes will prevail. I pray that He is made famous and He is glorified through whatever the outcome is today and the days to come! My God is an Awesome God and He reigns on Heaven and Earth! Praise be to the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit!!!

Le's First Birthday!

Our sweet baby boy turned One this past Friday. I just realized that not only were we not there for his birth, but now he is away with his birth parents for his first birthday this weekend. We go to court again this Wednesday for the CPS final hearing. I have experienced moments of extreme anxiety, followed by God's overwhelming peace. I am choosing God's peace and joy, as I try to keep an eternal prospective through this storm. My happiness is circumstantial, but my joy comes from the Lord and the Bible reminds me that "the joy of the Lord is my strength." God's word also reminds me that these are "light and momentary trouble". Our family is being refined and others are watching to see how we handle it. Will we stand strong, or will we fall? Lord, I pray that you are our strength and focus as we stand and fight for this precious boy! We love you little Le and we are praying God's perfect will in all our lives.

First Snow of 2011

La, our sweet snow angel!

Kait having fun at the park in the snow!

Yes...this is our sweet boy, Le! We only had warm girl clothes.

Josh starting to build his fort!

Jake starting his fort!

Le watching the snow from the warmth of the house!

Le's First snow!

Let me start by saying that I love snow days! We don't see many snow days here in Texas, but when we do things just seem to shut down. I will also say that we don't watch TV very much at our house, and if we do, it's dvd's or shows streamed from the internet. With that being said, I can honestly say that I hadn't had much warning about the winter storm to come. In fact, I had been wearing my flip flops the three days prior to being snowed in. I did go by Target and Sam's last Monday to pick up somethings that I thought we might need, but only supplies for a day or two. In fact, as I realized early Monday evening that we might actually be stuck inside, I called and asked David to pick up some milk. He evidently didn't think things would be bad either, because he only bought one gallon, where I usually buy three. As the night went on and the rain and sleet starting falling, we were all excited at the possibility of no school or work. We were excited to see the results upon waking. Who knew that, not only would school be canceled for Tuesday, but for Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday as well? What a wonderful week it has been! The past 5 days, we have prayed together, ate together, played games together, played in the snow together, cleaned out closets together, and enjoyed one another. I love my little family and I cherish moments like these, when we can sit back and relish in each others company! I also forgot to mention that it was our littlest ones first snow, so that made it an extra special time!