What is going on here?

Sometimes I just don't understand Him. This is one of those times...I feel so passionately that He has put this burning, exploding love in my heart for the children of Ethiopia...so why doesn't my husband feel the same way? This has been my prayer for the last couple of months as I cry out to my Lord asking "Why?".

David has expressed to me that he does feel that the Lord has asked us to adopt again, but there is a small check list that he feels needs to be done before we start our adventures. Things like paying off our suburban and the small loan on our house, taking the kids to Disney, feeling like he has more quality time with the four children already in our care, you know...things like that. He also is concerned about how the children will feel as they get older knowing that they are different from us because their skin color is different. My answer is always simple and easy for me to believe..."God will help us raise these children to be loving and caring people, secure in who they are in the Lord"...they won't know any different, because they will have grown up in a white family with white friends who love them just the same. Not to say that we won't teach them about their own culture, but that their culture doesn't have to look so different from ours.

Looking back at what God has done in the past, I see glimmers of hope and light. David was the one who first started talking about us adding another child to our family before we welcomed LaLa into our family. And he has been the one that started the spark in my heart with the forwarded email that a friend had sent to him that contained their blog that told of their story of their adoption of two children from Ethiopia. I think that God has a plan in this all...my thoughts are that as a mother, I need to be able to be ready and willing to love, sacrifice, provide, care for, encourage, and support any children that are put in our family. That is what a mother does for her children as she teaches and disciples them. God has put this burning desire in my heart to prepare me to take in more children. I am ready Lord...use me to Your Glory...allow me to step out in faith, without looking back...trusting You and only You to provide for me and my family every step of the way.

Oh...and did I mention that David and I were up till 2:45am Friday night on the Internet studying and reading about the country of Ethiopia and different adoption agencies that work there? We are really leaning towards Buckner that is here in Dallas. In fact we are filling out a pre-application to send in tomorrow. See...God is working here!!!

God's Adventure

I attached a poem to my blog...a poem that describes how I want to live my life. Not a safe life, but a life of adventure and growing towards Christ. God never once promised us safety here on earth, but he did promise that we as believers would be persecuted and mocked because of our beliefs...some of us would even lose our lives for Him. What a wonderful epitaph...to have "died" for the name of our Lord and Savior.

David and I have done a lot of "crazy" things over our almost 17 years of marriage. Most of them our friends and family have stood by watching, some telling us we should quit and then them telling us "I told you so" on the days you are down. I once read a book where the man called these people border bullies...people who know they couldn't do what you're doing, so they encourage you not to try at all, then they are the first ones there to bully you when you are feeling as though you are failing. You know these people by name, just as I do.
Owning our own gaming business is one of our ultimately crazy adventure that we have been on for almost 6 years now. God has taught us so much about how good He is to provide at just the right second and how trusting in Him and Him alone is enough. Over the last few years we have had years when we have gone for 11 or more months without normal pay, only to be provided for by family, friends, perfect strangers from church, and acquaintances.
We have also been on the fostering adventure...taking in an eighteen month old, then later that same year taking in two of her older brothers, bring our ratio to 2 adults to 6 kids....crazy!!! What a tough and challenging year God took us on there. But all the while, through our tears and pain, He changed our hearts and brought us closer to where He wants us to be.
That brings me to our adoption adventure where we rode a very emotional roller coaster for several months...only to be the proud parents of an awesome three year old girl who lights up our world along with our other three children. What a blessing they are!!!
Our latest adventure you ask? Well, He is chasing us again! And He seems to be cornering us in the adoption corner again. Our hearts have grown so much towards taking care of His children...so we are looking into adopting possibly two more...where? You might ask. Who knows? My heart, along with our two boys hearts, is in Ethiopia. I have been reading, watching, and listening to many families that have adopted from there and I feel so drawn to these children. I am praying daily for God's direction on this. I only want to do things that bring me closer to Him and His son Jesus.
I feel that the only truly enjoyable adventures are the one that God Himself ordains. Through obedience to Him only, can we truly find the peace and joy that He speaks of in His word.

LaLa's handy work...

Our three year old was using the glue stick on some of the scrap papers that my older kids use for their math problems...little did I know that she was then gluing them to our bedroom wall. She and I headed out to pick the big kids up from their class. After lunch I came into our room to check my emails and I found the papers carefully hung on display. Who knew math could be art...who knows, maybe she's onto something. Anyone looking for a decorator?

Let's talk about adoption...

So as many of you know, we adopted our youngest child back in August 2008. She has been with us for almost 2 years and is 3 1/2 now. It was a rough ride trying to adopt this little one, but she has been nothing but a blessing to us and she has opened the door of adoption to us. You know I always wanted 4 children, but my husband and I didn't even think about inviting our great Lord and Savior to write our families story, so David had surgery after number three. But God is known for taking all of our bad, jacked up decisions and making them good, so that we may glorify Him through it all. So, here we are today with four of the most wonderful children, wanting more of them. He has really been growing our hearts over the past 5 years. And to think that He can grow it to love someone else's child as much as you love your own flesh and blood is amazing. We are an adoptive family!!!

I love to read and I love hearing other people's adoption stories, so I have been searching and reading so many great stories of other adoptions. It is so great to see God working in so many places on behalf of these children. He loves the children...they are His!!! It breaks my heart to see so many of them without parents and families. I think of our own family and our extended families and all the fellowship we share together and my heart aches for those who don't have that. I am struggling with whether we should adopt domestically or internationally. The children here in the states that don't have permanent parents live in foster homes that are much like having a home. Here their needs are met with clean water, meals, clothing, shelter, and hopefully security. The ones who will not be adopted will age out of the system knowing somewhat how to function as an adult because they have lived in foster homes. International children on the other hand are mostly coming from orphanages, although foster homes exist in some countries as well. Then there are those that no one wants...the children with special needs. Some are special needs because of their age, other have mild defects, and yet others are severe...what will these children do? I feel overwhelmed with the fact that we can only save a couple of them physically, but I am praying that through our expression of faith, many other families are moved to help the helpless and save their children. Those that know Christ should also know that He has called us to care for the "orphans" , the "helpless", the "lost" and He tells us that when we do that for them, that we will be doing it for Him. Let's serve God together in this journey through life on earth...