Sometimes I just don't understand Him. This is one of those times...I feel so passionately that He has put this burning, exploding love in my heart for the children of Ethiopia...so why doesn't my husband feel the same way? This has been my prayer for the last couple of months as I cry out to my Lord asking "Why?".
David has expressed to me that he does feel that the Lord has asked us to adopt again, but there is a small check list that he feels needs to be done before we start our adventures. Things like paying off our suburban and the small loan on our house, taking the kids to Disney, feeling like he has more quality time with the four children already in our care, you know...things like that. He also is concerned about how the children will feel as they get older knowing that they are different from us because their skin color is different. My answer is always simple and easy for me to believe..."God will help us raise these children to be loving and caring people, secure in who they are in the Lord"...they won't know any different, because they will have grown up in a white family with white friends who love them just the same. Not to say that we won't teach them about their own culture, but that their culture doesn't have to look so different from ours.
Looking back at what God has done in the past, I see glimmers of hope and light. David was the one who first started talking about us adding another child to our family before we welcomed LaLa into our family. And he has been the one that started the spark in my heart with the forwarded email that a friend had sent to him that contained their blog that told of their story of their adoption of two children from Ethiopia. I think that God has a plan in this all...my thoughts are that as a mother, I need to be able to be ready and willing to love, sacrifice, provide, care for, encourage, and support any children that are put in our family. That is what a mother does for her children as she teaches and disciples them. God has put this burning desire in my heart to prepare me to take in more children. I am ready Lord...use me to Your Glory...allow me to step out in faith, without looking back...trusting You and only You to provide for me and my family every step of the way.
Oh...and did I mention that David and I were up till 2:45am Friday night on the Internet studying and reading about the country of Ethiopia and different adoption agencies that work there? We are really leaning towards Buckner that is here in Dallas. In fact we are filling out a pre-application to send in tomorrow. See...God is working here!!!
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