I'm back...

As you can tell by the date of my last post...May 21...you can see it has been quite some time since I've posted.

Life has been strange without my momma. My mind rests in knowing that she is with her Lord and Savior, but my heart aches daily. She was a constant support to me and my entire family and we are all saddened by her abrupt exit.

Hopefully I can get back to posting on her more regularly. Since our life has been turned upside down, we had put off the process of adopting from Ethiopia. Recently we have been talking about what we should do and feel like the Lord is leading us to foster to adopt again here in the Ft. Worth area. We are working on getting all of our paper up to date so that we can get back on the list. We have also discovered that our youngest daughter's birth mom is pregnant again and that if she is still using drugs that we may get that baby as well. The world continues to turn and we continue to wait upon the Lord. His timing is perfect!

In Memory of my mother...

On Saturday, April 25, 2009 my dear friend and mother went to be with the Lord. My heart now has a huge empty spot that is now filled with pain. I am confident that she is celebrating in heaven with Christ and her family and friends that went on before her. The Lord has been very generious to me the last few weeks and has blessed me with two different dreams that I would like to share now.

Last Thursday I drempt that I was getting onto a water ride. As I sat down in the boat, I asked the guy who was attending the ride if there was a seat belt for the ride, he replied "no", so I assumed that it would be a gentle ride. As the boat started off up the first steep hill, I heard the boy in front of me scream as he headed down the steep fall. I instantly thought "oh my goodness, I don't have a seat belt", I started to panic, but as I started down the fall, I felt the boat that I was in gently being carried down the steep hill. I immediatly felt peace and noticed that I was not afraid anymore. With each hill and drop, I continued to feel relaxed and peaceful. After I awoke, I realized that the ride I was on was much like the ride of grief that I am on now and that God is carrying me each and everyday as my emotions go up and down. He is my strength and the peace that I feel each day as I carry on with this life.

This past Monday night, I dreamed that me and our four children had the chance to visit with my mom one last time since her dying. My mom looked wonderful...she was much thinner and was very fit and active. When Kait and I saw her, we kept hugging and smelling her. I had so many questions to ask her. First I wanted to know about her hospital visit. I asked her if she knew what was going on, she said "no". Next I asked if she was scared at the hospital and she admitted that she was. I told her that I had been worried about the terrified look that I saw in her eyes. I then asked if she had been in pain that day, and she answered "no". I also asked her about my grandmother, Mawzy. She told me that she looked very cute...I thought that this was odd, because she was 81 when she died. I assumed that she had recieved a new body, just as mom had.

That's My Boy...

The other day while I was cooking dinner, our ten year old boy, Joshua, came out of the bathroom. He came over to me and questioned me about a book my husband and I are reading. The conversation went like this:

Joshua: "Mom, you know that book you and dad are reading that's in the bathroom called Bringing up Boys?"

Me: Yea

Joshua: "You know the one with the boy and the dog on the front?"

Me: Yea

Joshua: "Well...a dog sure would bring me up!"

Bouts of Confusion...

Wow, it's been a while since I last posted a blog and Wow have things been crazy! Last month we visited a new adoption group called Families Like Us. It is mainly a group for families who have adopted black children, but they welcome any adoptive family. A friend of mine from high school and youth group is a member and she had suggested we come and check it out. We loved it! We met some very neat people and also ran into another couple from our old church. We shared our hearts with them and also our vision of adopting from Ethiopia. They were excited for us, but a couple of them asked us why we weren't adopting from here. Not that they thought that it was bad that we were go outside the country, they were just asking. Of course, that got us to thinking again and wondering if the Lord was trying to tell us something. This is the part where the confusion set in. We continue to pray and ask God for direction and we are seeking out different avenues. Buckner is ready for us to start, but the process takes so long, costs so much, and the application alone is over an inch thick, which would take David months to complete. Where on the other hand, we already have everything we need with our current agency, Kornerstone, to get on the list this week and it would only cost us a couple thousand dollars to adopt through CPS. I know, it really sounds like a no brainer when you're reading this, doesn't it? Maybe we do know what it is we are to do. David is hesitant in doing anything right now. He said he feels like God is telling us to adopt again, but he isn't sure that it is to be right now. It is so maddening, but God has done this many times in our marriage, where He gives us a vision, but it doesn't actually happen for three years or so. We are learning to wait upon Him and trust that His timing is perfect. I know with the other things in the past, they have been much greater than we had imagined them being. We will trust again in His timing and in His blessing from our obedience. If you happen to read this, please pray for His direction for us and that we will press in and wait upon the Lord.

Life is good...

Since I last wrote several things have happened. First off David and I celebrated our 17th Wedding Anniversary, second we all celebrated Lala being with us for 2 years now, and third David and I attended the Buckner International Adoption workshop. Not in that order mind you. We started off last weekend by attending the workshop on Friday from 1-5ish. We were excited to be there and wouldn't have missed it for the world, other's on the other hand weren't as dedicated and the two other couples that had RSVP'd missed...maybe because of the monsoon we had last week. That was great for us though, it turned out to be a one on one with us and we focused mostly on Ethiopia, since that is where we are interested. We met five ladies that were there that day and we loved each one of them. Buckner has been around for so long and has such a great humanitarian aid program and these ladies hearts are wonderful and truly focused on the children and the families that they will be matching together. We are so excited!!!

After the workshop David and I were off to a weekend alone at his parents lake house. What a wonderful blessing it was to be there. We arrived there around 11pm and got settled in, going to bed around 3am. Needless to say it was noon before we got out of bed...I won't tell you why...OK I'll tell you...the clocks were off due to time change! What??? After having a wonderful "big" breakfast we sat talking, reading, relaxing, and praying. Before we knew it we had missed lunch and it was already 4pm. We grilled up some burgers and ate those for an early dinner. What a wonderful day we had with no worries in the world, most of the day we spent on our knees on the floor in prayer for our children and family. It was just perfect. We also started on the inch thick application papers. There is a long road head of us there. We headed out Sunday after another "big" breakfast after lunch. We picked up all four of the kids from my sisters house...she and my parents had taken turns with all seven of the grandkids at their houses and headed back home.

We then celebrated with the kiddos our anniversary and Lala's 2nd year of being with our family. The girls made cupcakes, I made icing and the boys grilled T-bone steaks out on the grill. What a grand celebration it was.

What a blessing to have such a close and loving family. We are so proud of our children and the young adults that the older three are becoming. Such wisdom they have that can only come from God. Praise God for good times...

Can I just say...

I talked about border bullies in one of my other blogs and I would like to address them again.

These people are well meaning people who ask us questions and then give us advice...mostly non biblical advice and then expect us to go..."you know...you're right...I probably shouldn't follow my heart because I might get hurt along the way". Plus they will be the first ones there in line to kick you when your down. When really these people, deep down, are just scared of something themselves, so they encourage others not to go there. Some are scared about losing their comfort, others are scared that they might get hurt, still others are unequipped, so they go around talking others into not stepping out. Another reason border bullies do there bullying...besides being scared is because it inconveniences them...forces them to do something they wouldn't have had to do otherwise. Sometimes they bully because they may have to live with the choices we make...in other words...the choices and decisions that we have made impacts them as well as ourselves...so they feel victimized. Some don't have that relationship with Christ so they just don't get it. They don't understand that Christ changes our hearts and that He really does converse and speak to us and we feel led by him to do things. It frustrates me, but I really don't expect them to understand...without Christ, you don't understand. And yes, if we stopped to think of all the possible things that can and probably will go wrong...we might just talk ourselves out of the challenge...so we try not to think about all the details, we just trust that He will be with us and provide for us when we get to that stage and we step forward. Some people think we are crazy...some thought Christ was crazy too. He calls us to adventure and steps of faith...not security and comfort...he promised us that life would be challenging and difficult and he calls us to die to ourselves...all those things to me don't mean sitting at home watching TV in the security of our comfortable homes, never getting out to serve...to me that is a wasted life. Our family has been offered the opportunity to serve in Mexico at a boarder town for a few days in April...as some of you know, Mexico is experiencing some security problems due to a drug war that is going on. When we talk with our children about whether we should go or not, our 13 year old responded that if she is going to die, she would "like to do it serving God"! Then our 11 year old chimes in that he would like to go also. These young teens may not get it fully, but they do understand that following Christ is not all fun and games...it's about fleeing from self and serving our Lord, who knows better than everyone how to live an abundant life, because he created it. Our family takes serving Christ seriously...so off we go on our newest step of faith. One giant step at a time!

We're on a roll...

And we're off...we have turned in our pre-application to Buckner and have RSVP'd to attend the International Adoption workshop on March 13...just one day before our 17th anniversary and our 2 year celebration of "gottcha day" for our youngest Lauren. She was our present for our 15th anniversary...and what a great little present she is. After this workshop we will start on our paperwork for the formal application and all the requirements for that. In times like this...where you have to wait...it works out good that time moves so fast. We are so excited!!!

God is making it very apparent that this is the road for us...since choosing to go with Buckner, we have been more excited and ready to run. We are requesting a baby girl and a baby boy that are between 0-9 months old. We are so excited that we have picked out their names already...we will name the girl...Kennedy Erin Jones and the boy...Leland Hudson Jones. That way we will not only have 3 girls and 3 boys, but we will also have 2 j's, 2 k's, and 2 l's. Our oldest is 13 1/2 and she is getting very excited...to the point where she has written poems for the children. Hopefully she will let me post them on here some day, but for now she isn't ready to put her heart on the line with that yet. She says that she is most excited about shopping for the babies...but what teenage girl isn't into shopping. Everytime we go into a store, we look at the baby stuff, but since we don't know for sure yet how big they will be, we can't buy anything. Although, Kait and I did pick up the cutest little "black" baby at Target the other day to take to Kennedy when we go to Ethiopia to bring them home.

We are so close to paying off the Suburban and the small loan that we have on our house. We sold tons of stuff in a garage sale last week and made over $600 there...plus I can now park my suburban in the garage. Getting rid of junk sure has freed us up and we don't even miss it. I have even started to think about cutting hair again from the house to earn some extra money to help out with the cost of adoption. God will provide...just as He has always done!

What is going on here?

Sometimes I just don't understand Him. This is one of those times...I feel so passionately that He has put this burning, exploding love in my heart for the children of Ethiopia...so why doesn't my husband feel the same way? This has been my prayer for the last couple of months as I cry out to my Lord asking "Why?".

David has expressed to me that he does feel that the Lord has asked us to adopt again, but there is a small check list that he feels needs to be done before we start our adventures. Things like paying off our suburban and the small loan on our house, taking the kids to Disney, feeling like he has more quality time with the four children already in our care, you know...things like that. He also is concerned about how the children will feel as they get older knowing that they are different from us because their skin color is different. My answer is always simple and easy for me to believe..."God will help us raise these children to be loving and caring people, secure in who they are in the Lord"...they won't know any different, because they will have grown up in a white family with white friends who love them just the same. Not to say that we won't teach them about their own culture, but that their culture doesn't have to look so different from ours.

Looking back at what God has done in the past, I see glimmers of hope and light. David was the one who first started talking about us adding another child to our family before we welcomed LaLa into our family. And he has been the one that started the spark in my heart with the forwarded email that a friend had sent to him that contained their blog that told of their story of their adoption of two children from Ethiopia. I think that God has a plan in this all...my thoughts are that as a mother, I need to be able to be ready and willing to love, sacrifice, provide, care for, encourage, and support any children that are put in our family. That is what a mother does for her children as she teaches and disciples them. God has put this burning desire in my heart to prepare me to take in more children. I am ready Lord...use me to Your Glory...allow me to step out in faith, without looking back...trusting You and only You to provide for me and my family every step of the way.

Oh...and did I mention that David and I were up till 2:45am Friday night on the Internet studying and reading about the country of Ethiopia and different adoption agencies that work there? We are really leaning towards Buckner that is here in Dallas. In fact we are filling out a pre-application to send in tomorrow. See...God is working here!!!

God's Adventure

I attached a poem to my blog...a poem that describes how I want to live my life. Not a safe life, but a life of adventure and growing towards Christ. God never once promised us safety here on earth, but he did promise that we as believers would be persecuted and mocked because of our beliefs...some of us would even lose our lives for Him. What a wonderful epitaph...to have "died" for the name of our Lord and Savior.

David and I have done a lot of "crazy" things over our almost 17 years of marriage. Most of them our friends and family have stood by watching, some telling us we should quit and then them telling us "I told you so" on the days you are down. I once read a book where the man called these people border bullies...people who know they couldn't do what you're doing, so they encourage you not to try at all, then they are the first ones there to bully you when you are feeling as though you are failing. You know these people by name, just as I do.
Owning our own gaming business is one of our ultimately crazy adventure that we have been on for almost 6 years now. God has taught us so much about how good He is to provide at just the right second and how trusting in Him and Him alone is enough. Over the last few years we have had years when we have gone for 11 or more months without normal pay, only to be provided for by family, friends, perfect strangers from church, and acquaintances.
We have also been on the fostering adventure...taking in an eighteen month old, then later that same year taking in two of her older brothers, bring our ratio to 2 adults to 6 kids....crazy!!! What a tough and challenging year God took us on there. But all the while, through our tears and pain, He changed our hearts and brought us closer to where He wants us to be.
That brings me to our adoption adventure where we rode a very emotional roller coaster for several months...only to be the proud parents of an awesome three year old girl who lights up our world along with our other three children. What a blessing they are!!!
Our latest adventure you ask? Well, He is chasing us again! And He seems to be cornering us in the adoption corner again. Our hearts have grown so much towards taking care of His children...so we are looking into adopting possibly two more...where? You might ask. Who knows? My heart, along with our two boys hearts, is in Ethiopia. I have been reading, watching, and listening to many families that have adopted from there and I feel so drawn to these children. I am praying daily for God's direction on this. I only want to do things that bring me closer to Him and His son Jesus.
I feel that the only truly enjoyable adventures are the one that God Himself ordains. Through obedience to Him only, can we truly find the peace and joy that He speaks of in His word.

LaLa's handy work...

Our three year old was using the glue stick on some of the scrap papers that my older kids use for their math problems...little did I know that she was then gluing them to our bedroom wall. She and I headed out to pick the big kids up from their class. After lunch I came into our room to check my emails and I found the papers carefully hung on display. Who knew math could be art...who knows, maybe she's onto something. Anyone looking for a decorator?

Let's talk about adoption...

So as many of you know, we adopted our youngest child back in August 2008. She has been with us for almost 2 years and is 3 1/2 now. It was a rough ride trying to adopt this little one, but she has been nothing but a blessing to us and she has opened the door of adoption to us. You know I always wanted 4 children, but my husband and I didn't even think about inviting our great Lord and Savior to write our families story, so David had surgery after number three. But God is known for taking all of our bad, jacked up decisions and making them good, so that we may glorify Him through it all. So, here we are today with four of the most wonderful children, wanting more of them. He has really been growing our hearts over the past 5 years. And to think that He can grow it to love someone else's child as much as you love your own flesh and blood is amazing. We are an adoptive family!!!

I love to read and I love hearing other people's adoption stories, so I have been searching and reading so many great stories of other adoptions. It is so great to see God working in so many places on behalf of these children. He loves the children...they are His!!! It breaks my heart to see so many of them without parents and families. I think of our own family and our extended families and all the fellowship we share together and my heart aches for those who don't have that. I am struggling with whether we should adopt domestically or internationally. The children here in the states that don't have permanent parents live in foster homes that are much like having a home. Here their needs are met with clean water, meals, clothing, shelter, and hopefully security. The ones who will not be adopted will age out of the system knowing somewhat how to function as an adult because they have lived in foster homes. International children on the other hand are mostly coming from orphanages, although foster homes exist in some countries as well. Then there are those that no one wants...the children with special needs. Some are special needs because of their age, other have mild defects, and yet others are severe...what will these children do? I feel overwhelmed with the fact that we can only save a couple of them physically, but I am praying that through our expression of faith, many other families are moved to help the helpless and save their children. Those that know Christ should also know that He has called us to care for the "orphans" , the "helpless", the "lost" and He tells us that when we do that for them, that we will be doing it for Him. Let's serve God together in this journey through life on earth...

Let me introduce myself...

Let me first off introduce myself...My name is Susan Jones and I am 38 years old. I am wife to David for 16 years and mother to Kaitlyn (13), Jacob (11), Joshua (9), and our newest addition, Lauren(3). We are a homeschooling family who loves the Lord with all our hearts. Our deepest desire is to have a life that has purpose and one that makes our God famous. Through this blog I hope to encourage you, challenge you, inspire you, and move you to get out and live with purpose through Christ. We are far from the perfect family, but we long to know Christ deeper and strive to be like Him. Come walk with me through our journey...