In our home there are index cards posted on the kitchen cabinets with Bible verses on them to remind us of God's promises, as well as His commands. There are also some reminders posted in the bathrooms. Our oldest daughter wrote an encouraging note this weekend on our mirrors in our bathroom that reads "mom...I love you...you are so pretty" and "dad...I love you...you are awesome". I love that she took the time to encourage us this weekend, but do I believe it and receive it?
The past few weeks I have been wrestling with the fact that, even though I have decided to follow God and I ask Him to speak to me, I don't always recognize His voice and His truth. I do, on the other hand, know the enemies voice quite well. He whispers and sometimes shouts at me. His voice is stern and condemning, filled with guilt and feeling of worthlessness. I have become aware that the enemies voice is the one I have chosen most to hear and believe. This not only saddens me, but also challenges me to pay closer attention to the voices I hear and receive.
The last week or so, I have been listening intently, for God's voice. Sending the enemy away when he tries to creep in. I have payed special attention to the words that people speak to me that are uplifting and encouraging and I am receiving those messages of truth. I'm no longer apologizing for the way my house looks, or for the way my kids look, or for the way I look. I'm just doing the best I can and realizing that God is happy with who I am. Sure He's still cleaning some things up inside of me, but He's happy with me, and that's good enough for me. I am His and He deals with me very differently than the enemy does. I find my worth in Him and Him alone.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
A Little Heart To Heart
Have you ever sat down with someone you love and had a heart to heart with them? I mean a real heart to heart? Not those awkward heart to hearts where you confront someone on things you feel they are failing at and you both leave feeling fractured and distanced from one another, but the kind where you look deeply into your loved ones eyes and you see their heart...just as Christ sees them. My husband, oldest daughter, and I had the awesome privilege of experiencing a true heart to heart with each other last Friday with a Pastor/Counselor friend of ours facilitating. The heart to heart session was life changing and I truly feel like a new door to our relationship has been opened.
During the session we looked intently into one an others hearts and spoke truth to each other. Truth that came straight from the Holy Spirit. Some of that truth was hard to swallow for me, even though it was positive. If you have read my blog before you'll remember in my post,
You've got me thinking, how I strive for perfectionism. And as you know, perfectionist are never happy with the way they have done, or are doing things, but I continue to work on moving out of the perfectionism I have lived in for so many years. I continue to search and listen to God's truth that is being spoken to me through others and I continue on the path of being content at the place where God has me. I look forward to our next Heart to Heart!
You've got me thinking, how I strive for perfectionism. And as you know, perfectionist are never happy with the way they have done, or are doing things, but I continue to work on moving out of the perfectionism I have lived in for so many years. I continue to search and listen to God's truth that is being spoken to me through others and I continue on the path of being content at the place where God has me. I look forward to our next Heart to Heart!
Friday, February 19, 2010
Changing Seats
We're a busy family of six, but we have always tried to make time to eat dinner all together in the dining room, where we can joke, talk about our day, and care for one another. We each have our assigned place at the table during dinner, but if you want to eat breakfast or lunch at the table and we're not all eating together, than your welcome to sit where ever you like. Some times as the kids are setting the table for dinner, they'll ask if we can change seats and sit in someone else's place. They love doing this! Well, that is everyone but our oldest. She says it makes her feel uncomfortable to be in a different spot. How odd is that? A place she knows so well, where we share life and meals with those we know and love in a very secure environment, yet she can feel uncomfortable there. Sounds a little like my life at times.
Every morning I sit at the dining room table at my place with my breakfast, my Bible, and my journal, but today was different. When I came to the table I saw that my oldest son was sitting in my place working diligently on his school work. I hated to ask him to move, so I sat in the chair just to the right of him. As I sat there looking out the windows, at the table I sit at daily, things looked different. I have to admit that I felt uncomfortable. And I started to think about how when we step out of our comfort zones, even if it's something small, we become uncomfortable.
Lately God has been calling us all to step out. This year our oldest daughter started public High School after 4 years of homeschooling, my husband has stepped away from his own company and taken a job an hour away, and we have made up our minds to adopt again this year. Needless to say things are uncomfortable at our house, even though it's the house we feel so at home in. The bright side is that Kaitlyn is loving High School and it has caused me to get up earlier to start our day. My husband is bringing home a paycheck every two weeks, instead of going 11 months without pay. And we are excited to welcome a new one (or two) into our loving home. Our days aren't all rosy, but we continue to focus on Christ and we go forward in His strength, knowing He has called us out of our comfort zones!
Every morning I sit at the dining room table at my place with my breakfast, my Bible, and my journal, but today was different. When I came to the table I saw that my oldest son was sitting in my place working diligently on his school work. I hated to ask him to move, so I sat in the chair just to the right of him. As I sat there looking out the windows, at the table I sit at daily, things looked different. I have to admit that I felt uncomfortable. And I started to think about how when we step out of our comfort zones, even if it's something small, we become uncomfortable.
Lately God has been calling us all to step out. This year our oldest daughter started public High School after 4 years of homeschooling, my husband has stepped away from his own company and taken a job an hour away, and we have made up our minds to adopt again this year. Needless to say things are uncomfortable at our house, even though it's the house we feel so at home in. The bright side is that Kaitlyn is loving High School and it has caused me to get up earlier to start our day. My husband is bringing home a paycheck every two weeks, instead of going 11 months without pay. And we are excited to welcome a new one (or two) into our loving home. Our days aren't all rosy, but we continue to focus on Christ and we go forward in His strength, knowing He has called us out of our comfort zones!
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
You've got me thinking...
I was reading on Some Girls website the other day about being "good enough" and how so many of us try to reach perfectionism. She (like so many other times) has got me to thinking.
Have you noticed that we not only strive for perfectionism in ourselves but we also look for it and expect it in others. Women are the worst. We strive to have the perfect body, the perfect children, the perfect family, and the perfect home. We allow voices inside our heads, as well as other women, to tear us down. We are constantly comparing ourselves to others. I know personally that I have asked my husband or my oldest daughter "do I look that big from behind?" or "do my legs look like hers?" and countless other critiquing questions. Where we are, never seems to be good enough...we need more...we need better...we need perfect. This has also affected the way I receive compliments and give compliments...I myself have a very hard time receiving them from others, because I never feel good enough. I, like my friend, am resolving to repeat God's truth when I hear voices inside my head tell me that I'm not good enough, pretty enough, thin enough, smart enough, or that I'm not anything enough.
Here are just a few verses that are speaking to me:
Jeremiah 1:5 says "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations." Our frames were formed by God himself and He has set us apart. To be different, to be who He created us to be.
In 1 Timothy it says, "For everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, because it is consecrated by the word of God and prayer." When I read this passage the words "everything is good" and "with thanksgiving" sticks out. Am I thankful for how God created me? Do I see that all God has created in me is good? Do I strive for better than what He has given me?
Romans 8:1 say "Therefor, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." If you are a dear sister in Christ my friend, then the condemning mean voice you hear inside your head is not the voice of God, it is the voice of the enemy. Trade that voice for the truth of God. Sisters, "Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things." Philippians 4:8
This week I will listen for the voice that tells me that I'm not good enough or that what I have been given is not good enough and I'll replace it with God's truth that tells me that He thinks I am good enough and that He is ready and able to us me...just as I am.
Have you noticed that we not only strive for perfectionism in ourselves but we also look for it and expect it in others. Women are the worst. We strive to have the perfect body, the perfect children, the perfect family, and the perfect home. We allow voices inside our heads, as well as other women, to tear us down. We are constantly comparing ourselves to others. I know personally that I have asked my husband or my oldest daughter "do I look that big from behind?" or "do my legs look like hers?" and countless other critiquing questions. Where we are, never seems to be good enough...we need more...we need better...we need perfect. This has also affected the way I receive compliments and give compliments...I myself have a very hard time receiving them from others, because I never feel good enough. I, like my friend, am resolving to repeat God's truth when I hear voices inside my head tell me that I'm not good enough, pretty enough, thin enough, smart enough, or that I'm not anything enough.
Here are just a few verses that are speaking to me:
Jeremiah 1:5 says "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations." Our frames were formed by God himself and He has set us apart. To be different, to be who He created us to be.
In 1 Timothy it says, "For everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, because it is consecrated by the word of God and prayer." When I read this passage the words "everything is good" and "with thanksgiving" sticks out. Am I thankful for how God created me? Do I see that all God has created in me is good? Do I strive for better than what He has given me?
Romans 8:1 say "Therefor, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." If you are a dear sister in Christ my friend, then the condemning mean voice you hear inside your head is not the voice of God, it is the voice of the enemy. Trade that voice for the truth of God. Sisters, "Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things." Philippians 4:8
This week I will listen for the voice that tells me that I'm not good enough or that what I have been given is not good enough and I'll replace it with God's truth that tells me that He thinks I am good enough and that He is ready and able to us me...just as I am.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Letting Go
As I was reading through Isaiah, a devotional in my Bible titled "Letting Go" caught my eye. As I read this short story on parents "letting go" of their children as they get older, I thought of how we as adult children have to let go of our parents as they get older also. As Christians, God has asked us to let go of everything in our lives that would keep us from worshiping Him whole heartily. That could be our children, our parents, our spouse, the love of money, the love of worldly things...anything that takes our focus off of Him.
Last April, God not only asked me to literally let go of my mother, but now He is asking me to let go of the grief that has had hold of me for the past 9 months. One of my best friends says that sometimes "God whispers" to us and I believe that He whispered to me the other day. I heard Him say very clearly "get up and let's go"...the weird thing is that I knew exactly what He was talking about. At that moment I said "ok Lord, let's go" and I walked away. Now don't misunderstand me...I haven't stopped thinking about my mom. I haven't stopped crying when I feel sad that the world that I once knew with her will no longer be. I haven't stopped longing for her touch, her voice, her warm smile. I just no longer sleep till 10:30 or 11am. I no longer am paralyzed by the depression I was living in. I no longer stay locked inside my house not wanting to socialize with others. I have my life back and I'm moving on...creating a new way of life for myself and my family, taking small steps, each and every day.
Letting go is hard to do. Letting go means that you can't go back. Letting go means you have to move on. Letting go means you aren't in control any more. So many times the things we work so hard to control will never be in our control.
Although letting go of our children as they grow and become more independent is different from letting go of our parents, we must continue to be in a relationship with both. We as parents must first make decisions for our young children, then start to mentor and guide our young adults, as we become their friends in adulthood and hand complete control of their decisions over to them. It is also important to stay in relationship with our parents as we learn from their wisdom through past victories as well as past failures and allow them to support and encourage us as we parent our growing children. I lost part of my support system when my momma died, but as I walked close to her the past 20 years or so, she taught me how to be the loving, caring, and giving mom I am today. I pray that I can instill these great traits in my children as they walk closely with me.
Last April, God not only asked me to literally let go of my mother, but now He is asking me to let go of the grief that has had hold of me for the past 9 months. One of my best friends says that sometimes "God whispers" to us and I believe that He whispered to me the other day. I heard Him say very clearly "get up and let's go"...the weird thing is that I knew exactly what He was talking about. At that moment I said "ok Lord, let's go" and I walked away. Now don't misunderstand me...I haven't stopped thinking about my mom. I haven't stopped crying when I feel sad that the world that I once knew with her will no longer be. I haven't stopped longing for her touch, her voice, her warm smile. I just no longer sleep till 10:30 or 11am. I no longer am paralyzed by the depression I was living in. I no longer stay locked inside my house not wanting to socialize with others. I have my life back and I'm moving on...creating a new way of life for myself and my family, taking small steps, each and every day.
Letting go is hard to do. Letting go means that you can't go back. Letting go means you have to move on. Letting go means you aren't in control any more. So many times the things we work so hard to control will never be in our control.
Although letting go of our children as they grow and become more independent is different from letting go of our parents, we must continue to be in a relationship with both. We as parents must first make decisions for our young children, then start to mentor and guide our young adults, as we become their friends in adulthood and hand complete control of their decisions over to them. It is also important to stay in relationship with our parents as we learn from their wisdom through past victories as well as past failures and allow them to support and encourage us as we parent our growing children. I lost part of my support system when my momma died, but as I walked close to her the past 20 years or so, she taught me how to be the loving, caring, and giving mom I am today. I pray that I can instill these great traits in my children as they walk closely with me.
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